Health Benefits

Employees of the Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet now have exclusive access to the CSTO Health Benefits Package. Taking inspiration from the warehouse chain’s “no-frills” ethic, Costco offers DIY surgical and dental programs: by Costco Employees, for Costco Employees! Take that, Obamacare!

Read on below for feedback from some happy recipients of Costco Health Benefits!



I am incredibly excited to have been the first patient of the CSTO-care plan! And the best part? No medical bills!

Rico Thunder, former CEO

Tarp Rodeo leads to launch of CSTO-Care

In a work-related incident, Rico Thunder chased a wind-blown tarp for a mile across the playa and jumped from a moving truck to hogtied the vagrant moop. In the process Rico suffered a gashed thigh. Coworker, bartender, and amateur surgeon Dr. Age fed the patient two shots of bourbon and sewed Rico right up. An excellent example of CSTO’s DIY co-worker operated health plan.


Ow! My toof! Hey, get away from me with that drill, you’re not a dentist!

Hank Chinaski, Head of the Photography Division

On-playa dental repair example of CSTO-Care quality

Longtime Costco employee Hank Chinaski woke up with a sore tooth. Afer his morning bite, Hank discovered his tooth’s crown was missing! Head of Facilities and totally-not-a-Doctor Jefe MacSprocket jumped to help. After fortifying the patient with his favourite hooch, totally-not-a-Doctor MacSprocket used his trusty power drill to clear away leaftover food particles, dead bits of tooth, and part of the patient’s jaw, before glueing the displaced crown back in place, thus launching CSTO-Care Dental!

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